Last night was the first time since the strokes that I have managed to stay up past midnight! In the hospitals I saw midnight more than once, was often awake then, but had usually been asleep since just after dinner (and often for much of the afternoon) and would sometimes see midnight because I was awake again then.
When I came home from the hospital (mid December) I often fell asleep by 5 or 6 at night. More recently, I have usually been up until 8 or 9, occasionally, still awake or awake again as late as 9, 10 or even (very rarely) 11, but I have usually been in bed, often asleep, for at least a couple hours by then.
I often wake, or start to wake (awake and back to sleep again, on and off) by 4 or 5 in the morning. Occasionally I am up for the day around 5 or 5:30, but this seems not so much to be the issue since starting my antidepressants. Usually, I am up for good around 6:30-7.
Last night I was working on this blog and Rick was enjoying some time to himself after we put the kids to bed. I was tired, but no more so than usual. Rick asked me what time my computer said and I was pleasantly surprised to find it was already past 11 and I really wasn't feeling a need to be in bed yet! This was, indeed, a new experience for me!
We finally went to bed more than an hour later. I was more than ready for sleep by then, but this was so amazing because I didn't know if I would ever be able to do anything social in the evenings again, because I have needed to go to bed so early. Last night restored my hope that this my be possible some day!
I sleep until 7:30 this morning, then only woke up because kids were being noisy. (Joyful noise!) My first thought was, "So this is why I don't usually stay up so late!" I stayed in bed until about 9. I think a nap will have to be a priority this afternoon! Not perfect yet, but an improvement.
Stroke is a terribly humbling experience. For some reason, needing to ask my husband to shave my arm pits just doesn't measure up to the vision I had of romance in marriage! I am so blessed by this self-sacrificing and patient man. <3
I was just looking back over previous post and I noticed this comment I once made, "I would like to end on an inspirational note. I am dry and have nothing to give at the moment. I know God is working here, I just have to take that on faith, the evidence of things hoped for and not seen."
The though occurred to me that when I am "dry," it is then that I most need to be refreshed by Living Water and immerse myself more in the focesed pursuit of Him.
“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.
Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him [Jesus] and he would have given you living water.”
Whoever believes in me [Jesus], as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.”
For the Lamb [Jesus] at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”