Update: The In Darkness Sing blog at JenniferSaake.com is experiencing prolonged technical issues, so I'm temporarily posting back here on my old Stroke of Grace blog.

Thirty-nine-year-old Jennifer Saake (founder, Hannah's Prayer Ministries), experienced 6 strokes via vertebral dissection at a chiropractic office, including brain stem and cerebellum bleeds, in Oct. 2011. Jenni remained hospitalized for nearly 2 months and was not expected to live (near death experience) nor recover, but if she even survived, she was slated to live out her days in a nursing home or, best case, to maybe come home but wheelchair-bound and needing 24-hour care. At 5 years, 7 months God showed how He was writing her story from the beginning.

Jennifer is currently writing more books and stays active on both Facebook and Pinterest. Stroke of Grace became In Darkness Sing in early 2018 and has moved, along with all five of Jennifer's active blogs, to one location at JenniferSaake.com. (Please see above temporary update note above!)

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Book Cover & "Prone to Wander"

I'm doing a little dreaming about what my book cover might look like. I'm drawn to images of lightening (an international symbol for stroke, as I understand(, especially those paired with a firework. A friend recently pointed out that a lightning strike look much like the branches of a human vein, and a when there is a rupture of that vein, it is much like a firework going off in the head. (Thanks for the idea, Steffanie!)

There is one picture I especially like, but it seems to being been pulled off the web due to copyright issues, so I don't even know if the link will work for you? [Edited in to say, so far, it has stayed up here for well over a year now, without challenge.]  So maybe something like this? Here is the total of what I did find: Lightening and Fireworks. If anyone has a good lightning and fireworks picture you are willing to share with me, you just might find yourself credited in this book!

Rick has asked why it is that  most weeks I manage to hold myself together all week, only to fall apart badly, on weekends, when he is with me. (When he asked, I wasn't even making it from weekend to weekend, falling apart many mornings before he even left for work and evenings when he came home, so it seemed directly tied to him being around.) Yes, there is an element that because I am more vulnerable with Rick than with anyone else, he sees my most raw and honest emotions, thing no one else gets (or probably wants!) to see. I really don't think it has as much to do him being around, as the change in schedule and routine, time to slow down and think more freely, time to grieve and reflect more on our current situation? Time to really feel and process the despair?

Today I laid down in bed and was immediately flooded with dark thoughts, a run-away freight train of damaged emotions. It hit me that when I take time to be still, then I feel this pain more profoundly. So I didn't do much other thinking, but used the time at rest to intentionally be still and focus on knowing that He is God and in control. (This is when I started to ponder my book cover, but that's all I can remember other than the dizzying, hypnotizing effect of the ceiling fan going round and round, overhead.)

The effort just  to battle my own deceitful thoughts and live in that reality of God's goodness a while was exhausting, but it did keep my mind from idly wandering, like it usually does when I first wake up each morning, and getting me in trouble. We've come very close, but no tears of emotional waterfall, so far, today! (My eyes are watering again, worse than I remember any time since the hospital. Often feeling a hot tear roll, uninvited, down my left cheek, is enough to trigger the emotions of crying to go along with the unintentional action, already in progress.)

When I walk, in therapy, I do pretty well until I come to a doorway. That still really throws me. I ffel like the dog with the talking collar, from the movie "Up." Instead of, "squirrel," I'm easily distracted by, "door!"

Here is a writing link I want to remember. Free Grammar Checklist - Guide to Common Grammatical Quandaries (Thanks Lisa!)

I ask prayer for my friend, Kendra, who is going through an especially dark valley and crisis of faith, these days.
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence,  with eternal pleasures at your right hand. - Psalm 16:11
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” - Psalm 46:10
2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 

1 comment:

  1. Jenni-
    What about a dandelion??
    Same kind of "burst" effect as a firework, and so very, very delicate...
    Fragile, but the very breath that seems to undo it is actually the means for its continued growth -- you know, "unless a seed falls to the ground"...