I counted the weekend pretty much a success because I only had three emotional melt-downs, one of them semi-deserved, over two days. I managed to make it through the whole day Monday without melting down! I probably only bears humor to someone with a living child, after loss, but our 6-year-old said something during of of my tear-fests that really made me giggle when I was telling my husband later. I will hopefully post more about that on my InfertilityMom blog in the next fews days.
It is week 3 of the computer-enhanced classical music I am listening to for 20 weeks, to retrain my brain. The Listening Program (part of my speech therapy) is sometimes challenging to fit into my day, but overall it seem to be enjoyable and I hope also productive in the end. My ear doctor is also pleased with the program, as I recover from surgery.
I have graduated from apple sauce, through yogurt, and am now drinking pudding through a fat, short straw. I think I will go to a longer milkshake (fat) straw soon, then down to a standard one, and ultimately hope to strengthen my facial muscles enough to sip pudding through a coffee stirrer. I have no idea how long that will take. I just know that my speech therapist and I booked dates through the end of 2012 today, tentatively looked at dates through next June, and talked about ongoing needs (and probable therapy) beyond that.
When I woke up in the hospital last fall, it is good that I had no idea what lay ahead. When my husband challenged me to "fight" during my third stroke, I wouldn't have fought if I knew all that really lay ahead. I naively thought then that the hospital season was bound to be the hardest part. Little did I know...
My kids are jealous that I "get" to drink pudding every day and also use a silly straw to drink everything else (also facial strengthen exercise as part of speech therapy). Our daughter also feels gypped that I get to go "swimming" (water therapy) tomorrow morning. If only it were half as fun as they seem to sometimes think it is. Our youngest had to be banned (again) from any of my medical equipment today, because some items make great toys in his mind. I wish I could face this all with the same child-like wonder. Of course, for them, without the same limitations I'm faced with, it is fun.
Before I forget, I wanted to let my fiends with any kind of chronic health issue (cancer, heart, immunity illnesses, etc.) know about a free upcoming resource! Next week is National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week (NCIIAW). Rest Ministries is sponsoring the event and hosting a bunch of free online web seminars on a variety of topics all week long. If you can't tune in live, I believe the sessions are typically recorded and either available to order (for small cost) or eventually archived and again made available online. If you, or anyone you know, is fighting a hidden health monster, you won't want to miss this! This is the 12th year of the event and it is always a blessing.
I was reading a poem by famed hymn-writer Fanny Crosby today. She was only 8 years old when she penned these words. Rather than my regular Scripture, I leave you with this.Two lines were very convicting to me to make a concious change of attitude, to be resolved to contentment:
I am resolved that in this world, contented I will be!