Dilation is still not resolved in my left eye from yesterday's drops, so I may have to call and ask about that later today or tomorrow morning, if it remains an issue. I think I will cancel my regular ophthalmologist appointment for later this month, since the results at the neuro-ophthalmologist were so encouraging! My doctor was looking over the changes in my records yesterday and shook his head saying, "Wow!" There is no medical explanation for such dramatic improvements. Only God!
This morning I woke up from dreaming that I had long hair and two working hands again. I was playing with my hair and braiding it. I woke up to this reality and sobbed. I told Rick, "It was such a normal, simple thing, but it's not." It's representative of the accumulation of so many daily little losses. Sometimes I really hate the changes now. :(
Soon the tears weren't just about hair, the were about parenthood (because I miss braiding my daughter's hair) and my husband and daughter were both trying to sooth my pain. My daughter worked with me and between our three working hands, we managed a braid together, though she had to take it out because it hung in face. Still, it was healing, along with their hugs and humor and words of loving assurance.
Today I have my transportation interview. I'm sick to my tummy just thinking about it.I'm never on my own, away from home. This is scary! Again, not a big deal on its own, but in context of all the rest, including some issues I have yet to share here, it seems overwhelming today.
I don't know why, but my left foot is really purple again today, more so than any time in recent months. I thought circulation issues were resolving, but I guess not.
Our oldest is sick and my youngest was really disobedient yesterday. I'm praying we have a better day today. I feel really anxious and don't like the feeling of being out of control, at all. I'm thankful that God is still in control, even when my illusion of control is so shattered.
Thank you to my wonderful hubby for taking his whole evening to get our internet working again last night. <3
God seems to be working some healing in our relationship and my heart attitudes toward or marriage. Praise the Lord!
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. - Psalm 94:19