I have been working to finish up my current devotional to start submitting a proposal, and have most recently been writing about hope. I have been thinking about anchors, and Peter walking on the water toward Jesus, Jesus walking on the water, turning water to wine, and much more. This picture seems to go right along with these current lines of thought. Maybe my next theme word focus (after restore) should be courage?
I am so very sore today. Monday was probably my highest pain level in over a year, especially my shoulder and neck. It all started out with a tight knot in the side of my neck as soon as I sat up in bed Monday morning. Our little guy (7) had a migraine and threw up several times that day, so we were quite the pair. I hate that he felt so rotten, but if he was going to have a day down in bed, Monday was a perfect day for him to sleep much of the day away and I could mostly rest! He was back to his normal mischeif by yesterday, to my great relief.
I was still hurting yesterday, but not nearly as much as the day before. I had therapy (gym) yesterday morning and wasn't sure how that would go, but it went surprisingly better than I thought, just being careful that I still did exercise with my upper body, but without any weight. Yesterday morning I realized that therapy wouldn't have even been possible on Monday, so I was praising God for His mercy to allow me to even try yesterday, as scheduled!
When a friend reminder me, "Let them know so they don't exhaust you too badly today. I'm sorry yesterday was so hellish. Just remember, for us Christians these trials are the only hell we will endure. And before we know it we'll hear well done good and faithful servant," and cautioned me to take it easy yesterday morning, I replied, "It is self-paced today (at the gym) so I probably in more danger of pushing myself harder than if I had supervision, but I'll try to be good. Thanks for the spiritual reminders too!"
Today I had regular therapy (at the rehab center, with a therapist) and did lots of leg work. On top of the weight machines for my lower body yesterday, and all of the work today, my legs are actually more sore than my shoulder, for once! They are shaking and quivering and the tops of my upper legs especially are so sore!
We retook a therapy evaluation test that we haven't done in 6 or 8 weeks or so ago. My score were unchanged from last time. There has been obvious improvement in my body over these weeks (like swimming!), but on paper I have pretty much "maxed out" my scores (12 out of 24, I think) unless/until I start walking smoothly, fluidly, "normally," so any further improvement, short of perfection, won't show with this particular test. On paper, it seems I have plateaued and am not gaining additional benefit from therapy. Unfortunately, this is the test the insurance company sight when making decisions about my care and coverage.
I am fighting another cold. So far not a bad one, just mostly making more really tired and sleeping a lot of extra hours. A few sniffle, a mild sore throat, a bit of a cough, and a really horse voice that fades in and out. As long as it doesn't go bacterial (like the ones in November and December both did) this one isn't so all-consuming so far.
I'm wondering if this doesn't account for some of my elevated pain levels though? I have an area on my RIGHT (better) arm that seem scarred from a blood draw a few months ago (looks like a faded bruise, but just won't clear up, about 3-4 inches long and an inch wide) that hasn't even bothered me for weeks now, and today is quite sore. When my daughter came up behind me and tried to scratch my back, I yelled in pain when she started on my left shoulder. These along with my elevated stroke type pains and a return to poor circulation (purple or white) in my left foot, makes me wonder if the cold virus comes into play here.
On probably an unrelated note, for about a week I've noticed an exceptional amount of trouble walking on our (hard linoleum) kitchen floor. While I've had an easier time on carpet than smooth flooring for months, I'm not quite sure why this change now? If I take a few steps into the kitchen in sock feet, it feels rather like a skating rink. It is such a relief to get back onto carpet!
I am excited to say that I do have an appointment with an endocrinologist to start investigating my thyroid in two more weeks. I will be so glad to figure out some answers there! They had a cancellation, so plugged me into an appointment over two weeks earlier than I expected to be seen. Thank you for praying!
I have a video of my walking and talking this week, so hopefully I can figure out how to upload and post that soon.
I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him,