First, my cold took a nasty turn Monday (? Tuesday, maybe?) morning. I am coughing up and blowing nasty neon yellow gunk (TMI?) and really dragging. Of course, it impacts my overall recovery too, and has prevented therapy for the last couple weeks or so (even counseling this week). The day I wrote about my swimming success was the last time I was even able to be in water at all. I've been running a fever pretty much all week too. :( Tuesday, an ocular migraine decided to join the party for the afternoon, so I had severely distorted, impaired vision for (thankfully, just) about 2 1/2 hours. I had to cancel all help for today too, so we don't share germs.
As of Tuesday night the doctor thought things were still just viral, so I am downing every natural antiviral (local honey, oregano, a couple kinds of immune boosting herbs that I can tolerate without allergic reaction, mega doses of vitamin C, teas, etc.) I can think of. I really hope to avoid another round of antibiotics this go round as they are so hard on my system in general! Thankful that even though I got the cold the last week of January, we actually made it all of last month without major illness, for the first month since Thanksgiving!
Our oldest was out of school for three days (after being sick all weekend too) and has gone back to school today. Hopefully he can make it all day there today! Our middle one when down into bed with it this morning. I figure our little guy is probably waiting until everyone else is on the mend before he takes his turn! Please pray for Rick, who is already showing signs of being pretty run down and worn thin, but so far has managed to fight this thing off.
I am thinking of Aaron and Hur, who held up Moses' arms, so God could bless the battle (Exodus 17). I have ministered, very personally investing my heart, in thousands of women. I've been a bit confused that in my own time of crisis, there seem to be only a small handful of ladies willing to really walk with me through this on a daily basis. I've been surprised at some friendships that haven't played out as I expected and also at a few of more casual acquaintances that have stepped in to support me in unexpected ways!
God reminded me this morning, that even Moses, leader of a whole an entire nation, had just TWO faithful men who came along side of him, to hold him up as the Lord fought the battle. Thankful for those God does daily call to enter into my pain, and also for those who encourage more occasionally - God has already built a faithful daily few, even more than two! The extra encourages are an added blessing! So I have no reason to question or pity myself. My blessings are abundant! Thankful for each effort and prayer! The Lord will fight for us, we need only be still! And when a couple of friends come alongside to intimately help me in my weakness, that is more than enough! Thanks to all my friends, whatever roll God has called you to in my life! :) You are cherished and more of a blessing than you know.
An online support group member just gave a perfect description of what it is like, trying to walk now, "having my left leg feel like I am dragging around a little kid clinging to my leg." I thought that captured the image so well, I wanted to share the quote! It is fun when you can give a child a brief ride on your foot, not so much when the child will never get off.
Our little man (7) was watching a t.v. short between episode of Curious George this morning, showing kids in mud boots and work gloves picking up trash along the rough, uneven terrain of a river bank, stepping through muck, over fallen logs, etc. They made a statement like, "Anyone can do this to clean up your environment!" He yelled back at the t.v., "Unh-un, especially not Mom!"
What constitutes a miracle? Does it have to be total or instantaneous healing to be of God? When people talk at funerals about having our payers fully answered now (whole and healed in Heaven), just not the way we had pictured, does this make the healing any less complete or miraculous? Is God's obvious hand in the restoration of my eyesight beyond anything the doctor could ever hope and amazing, even if still not yet fully restored, walking ability, negated by His lack of healing in my ears? I came across this quote by Max Lucado this week, "If Jesus heals instantly, praise Him. If Jesus heals gradually, trust Him. When Jesus heals ultimately, you will understand." This pretty well sums up what I have been trying to express for a while. This healing isn't what I had asked for or imagined at the very beginning (I could only conceive of a miracle as being total and fast), but it (and the limitations He has chosen to leave) is every bit just as much of God. I am asked simply to trust.
"God will not protect us from what He wants to perfect us through." - FamilyLife Art of Marriage, Session One
He looked around at them all, and then said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He did so, and his hand was completely restored. [A different kind of miracle that God is working in me.]
This turned out to be the first in a series of 4 different posts, as I wrestled though this issue of healing. They are all linked by looking at the February, 2013 links, or going to the end of God's Paint Brush.