I guess the next big landmark will be October 25, when I hit 2 years of stroke recovery, my stroke-a-versary, or as some friends call it my "re-birthday." That term really aggravated me until just these last few days, but now I think I better understand how and why it is used. This was a life-changing series of events, deaths of many of the parts of my pre-stroke life, but the "birth" (I truly feel like a butterfly crawling from it's imprisoning cocoon of darkness - thank you Kendra!) of a whole new level and understanding and experience of life! (Actually, the next landmark, and well-worthy of celebration too, because it could have so probably never been, is 21 years with my amazing husband, next month!)
This year seems rather surreal. I feel the heart-deep, nearly irrational, sometimes almost giddy, bubbling over joy that was so illusive for so long. (Thanks for all the prayers here!) The best I can describe it is like the Bible speaks of peace, that it truly passes all human understanding and is so very not tied to circumstances!
I see time with a fresh perspective and thus am making an intentional choice to rejoice in each day I am given. I have seen glimmers of why my family still needs me here and for what other purposes God still holds me here. I am no longer just in a constant state of adrenaline-driving scraping for simple survival, but I am feeling alive, that life worth the living now.
Today my mom dropped me off at the movie theater with all three kids, then Dad came back to pick us up when it was over. I realized it was the very first time I have gone anywhere, alone, with full responsibility for all three of our kids, since the stroke. It was a little terrifying at first, but it went great. Another hurdle conquered! :)
Physically, left side pain is pretty nasty. It is what it is though. I can't change anything there. Please pray that I can soon find my night-guard (mouthpiece) as it is currently missing and my jaw really feels the lack! My right (lesser stroked) shoulder was also pretty sore this morning, but thankfully seems to be doing better now. I can't imagine going back to not being able to use either arm efficiently!
We are hoping to relieve a little of that left ear pain, restore some hearing, relieve some pressure, and maybe even reclaim a tiny more balance with another minor ear surgery tomorrow.
For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him... - 2 Chronicles 16:9a