Update: Stroke of Grace has become In Darkness Sing and has moved to JenniferSaake.com.

Thirty-nine-year-old Jennifer Saake (founder, Hannah's Prayer Ministries), experienced 6 strokes via vertebral dissection at a chiropractic office, including brain stem and cerebellum bleeds, in Oct. 2011. Jenni remained hospitalized for nearly 2 months and was not expected to live (near death experience) nor recover, but if she even survived, she was slated to live out her days in a nursing home or, best case, to maybe come home but wheelchair-bound and needing 24-hour care. At 5 years, 7 months God showed how He was writing her story from the beginning.

Jenni is currently writing more books and stays active on both Facebook and Pinterest. Stroke of Grace became In Darkness Sing in early 2018 and has moved, along with all five of Jennifer's active blogs, to one location at JenniferSaake.com.

Since Jenni's chiropractor carried no insurance and moved out of the country soon after the accident (thus avoiding any legal or financial consequences), if you would like to help contribute to the Saake (pronounced like the two small words, say and key) family's massive financial needs (medical expenses alone are estimated to cost between $1- and $1.5- Million in Jenni's lifetime), please visit Jennifer Saake's Stroke Survivor GoFundMe Page. (This support information has been added in direct response to several reader requests.) The Saakes sincerely thank you for your prayers and if God prompts and equips you to send any monetary assistance as well, this is a significant added blessing.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Striving for "Best" Not Just Better

I think I must be fighting a little bug today? I usually get up about 6:30 to see the kids off to school. The last two days I have gone back to bed when they left at 7 and slept until about 8:30 (I usually can't actually get back to sleep after they leave). Today I couldn't even get up, so by sweet hubby managed them while getting himself ready for work too, and had them all come back to kiss me before they left, but I never got up. I finally woke up at nearly 9:30!

I'm up, and I'm not worried about an ME/CFS relapse because I actually felt rested when I finally did wake up. But I am feverish this morning, so even though I feel fine (other than sleepy again - I think a nap is in order!), I'm taking it easy. Rick is already planning to take care of dinner, bless his heart! I'm hoping to get some writing done before the kids get home this afternoon.

Oh, and friends have asked how I am doing with the kids gone each day. Wonderfully, actually! Yesterday was the first day since their first day (nearly a month ago) where I have missed them so much to be counting the minutes until they got home. Today, not feeling great, I am actually looking forward to crawling back into bed without guilt! After nearly eight months of them living away from home, just being gone for a school day is quite doable, because I know they are coming home each afternoon! Plus, it lets me focus on me for the hours they are gone and know they will soon be home again with exciting stories of the day.

Given the circumstances, I think the kids are happier to be around other adults who don't remind them of the family crisis during their days. Our 7-year-old was in tears twice after he got home last night, once while out playing with his friends and just thinking through the experiences of that first year and specifically when I almost died in the beginning, and once because he had spoken disrespectfully to me at dinner and was devastated that maybe he had hurt me. If being out of our home for a few hours each day brings joy to my kids hearts and temporarily removes them from the burdens of simply living this reality and also makes them more eager to be home for the hours that they are, praise God!

Nothing big to share about this week, so I wanted to re-address something I never posted last week (or maybe from the week before, I'm not sure now?) and tell you about preparing for our first scheduled dinner guest since my stroke. (We have had a couple of casual, spur-of-the-moment dinners with friends, but nothing I really took time to prepare for.)

Facebook - Just because it is beautiful and looks yummy. Two of my favorites, chocolate and roses!

Something I posted to a stroke group on Aug. 27:
I am EXHAUSTED today and was so very stressed yesterday. Hubby says that by the time he got home from work last night (about an hour before guests were due) I was so stressed that my face was all rashed out. The multi-tasking of trying to put together a simple meal after making the house presentable (not clean, just passable) about did me in, but I calmed after he had been home about 20 minutes and the evening went well.

Also, we (the Stroke Coffee House Facebook group) were having a conversation about stair climbing and if we each find it easier to go up or down. I replied:
I do better going up too, but I used to make my therapist laugh but telling him that going down was a sure thing because I always knew I would accomplish that goal, one way or another! ;)

Facebook - Funny, that's totally how I felt even a few months ago. Now, not so much. I want people to see my story and not give up, not because I haven't, but because of God's faithfulness to sustain!
Quote of the day:

"Good enough" is the enemy of "best." - Unknown
Verse of the day:

Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God. - Romans 8:39
I have had a horrid fear of heights since my strokes (seems related to the balance issues I'm facing from brain injury and is gradually improving a bit with other symptom improvements) and this verse really caught my attention anew, with the opening line being "Neither height..."



  1. We did well getting the house ready last week. I do remember you saying it felt like a homestudy, to see if you were good enough parents. Believe me, you are such wonderful parents!

  2. You know, heights get to me too, and they never used to...