One of the funnier dreams (though still stressful/upsetting enough to jolt me awake, drenched in sweat, by problem number three) was taking a college entrance exam and not being able to get into college because I can't tell you what an adjective does now (really, I can't, even awake, as most technical language ability was wiped out in the strokes) and because I couldn't name a specific city in Maryland (geographic knowledge was also hard hit by the strokes). I'm glad I woke up by the third question because test anxiety was high! It took about 10 minutes for my heart to slow its pounding once I awoke, enough for me to go clean up and slather on deodorant! I think this particular dream was spurred on my a few recent encouragements that I should go back to college (I really had no desire, even before the strokes!) and by recent testing and/or college-related projects my nephew (congratulations on your amazing score, D!), son (such a cool idea, can't wait to see it come to fruition, J) and daughter (way to go in taking 12th in state, girly!) were all involved with this past week. At least this one dream sort of makes scenes.
Give It 100 - Day 2 of 100
My sweet hubby really isn't sure about my 100-day plan. He isn't telling me not to try, he is just worried, wants to protect me, doesn't want me to hurt myself. I don't want to get hurt either! It's been two years of taking risks and pushing my limits though. I have terribly mixed emotions about this project now. As my physical therapist puts it, "It is scary to watch you try new things! It makes everyone uncomfortable to watch so we would be happier if you didn't try, but if you don't try you don't learn!" I want to push the envelope but I want to honor my husband even more. If I knew I could do this for 100 days without ever hurting myself in the process, there would be little conflict in my heart. Since I don't know that, I am torn between the desire to better myself, to prove myself, really, and the desire to protect the hearts of my loved ones. I want to show everyone that I can do this! Pride? (bad) Determination? (good) Some of each? (probably) Am I trying to do this in my own strength or Christ in me? Please pray that I make wise decisions here!
When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.