Yesterday was the first time I went out of the house since surgery two weeks ago (well, I went to my urology appointment on Friday, short and not overly exciting). I really had a good appetite and handled all the stimulation of being out in society quite well, when we took our son out to birthday lunch. But trying to stand, after lunch, my legs simply would not hold me and our son caught me before I hit the restraint floor. We came home and I slept 3 hours, got up, had a teary, traumatic evening while decimating my husband and two children, then went back to bed and slept another 11-ish hours.
Today seemed to start OK other than still dealing with the uptake in CPS, but I was crying and picking fights within an hour, then realized depression was really stepped up this morning as well. :( I couldn't handle the noise of the drum in church, having to go hide out in the bathroom for the band warm-up before service, then hiding out against my husband's shoulder, him plugging my good ear, during the two louder songs during service, tears (not exactly of physical "pain" but certainly neuro overload linked the noise, best described as "hearing hurt") pooled in my scrunched closed eyes. I came home from church and slept another 2+ hours. When I woke up I had very painful heartburn and Rick commented on how terribly pale I looked.
I feel pretty good this evening, just tired and ready for bed! The music trouble is a new experience for me, reminiscent of when I tried to put on blue jeans in the rehab hospital for the first time and simply could not tolerate them.
Weird how I have dealt with music just fine, even when first coming home from the hospital, until today. :( I'm also having trouble supporting myself or walking a straight line. I have no idea why.
Quote: "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose" — Jim Elliot, missionary martyr who lost his life in the late 1950's trying to reach the Auca Indians of Ecuador
This is an amazing video. It is nearly 42 minutes long, so if you can't watch it all now, please watch at least the first two minutes (introduction) and last three (most important part of the message). But if you have the time, it is all pretty interesting.
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. - Ephesians 3:14-19
More information about my doctor, Dr. Gholdoian, father of two high schoolers, (who was shot at Renown medical center in Reno, Nevada last week) and a (short) memorial video.