Today's appointment was rather routine, non eventful for the most part. I really like not being overly interesting to my doctor. Nice change of pace! What got my mind racing was when he signed the form to get my driver's license back, contingent on my ability to pass a physical driving test. The kicker is that I only have 30 days to have done this or the approval becomes null and void.
I always hoped I might be able to try to get my license back, "someday," but I figured I could put that off until I was good and ready. It's turning out that I can't have it both ways, being licensed again and waiting until I feel ready to actually use said authorization to put it to the test. Rick and I have to have a long, realistic talk about what I need to try to do here. My doctor recommends being screened by a driving school before heading down to DMV to take my official test. The big draw back there would be expense. So I picked up a new Driver's Handbook today and now have to make some decisions, all the while, my stomach churns and flip-flops worse than when I was a teenager!
The other thought swirling through my mind is that my doctor confirms it is likely time to seek a smaller, quieter church. Actually, his suggestion was that I stop trying to attend all together, due to the severity of current "brain irritability," but he gave his blessing on the quest to look for other options first. We are going to wait it out through this month and see how things go before we make any such decision, as we LOVE our church family and they have stood by us through all of this. He says the phenomenon I'm describing sounds rather like Plasticity (? - no, what's the word I'm looking for here? SPASTICITY, that's right!) in that it isn't a sign that my brain is "getting worse" it is just a progressive expression of the original injury. He could try an anti-seizure/convulsant medication that might or might not help a little, but since he knows how I hate meds and am typically so hyper-sensitive to all the side effects, we will just watch this latest development for now.
As for the MR(I?)(A?) that my neuro-ophthalmologist wants to order, he agrees that it is about time, but that my ophthalmologist has such unique protocol, he is going to let the other doctor place the orders to be sure he gets what he needs. Sounds like another phone call I need to make today.
Well, no conclusion from all of this, but I do feel a little calmer after getting it all written out, calm enough to have sorted my thoughts enough to be ready to pray, something that up to this point has just been a muddled mess of craziness today, but I know will bring me real peace as I sit at Jesus' feet and lay these questions before Him!
Tonight's pork in the crockpot is already smelling great! The bird's chirping like crazy - we both miss the kids who went back to school this morning. The laundry, we'll see how my Mom feels tomorrow, if she is up to coming over and helping me, but not really even going to try to tackle today even though that's the typical Monday routine. Today I have some phone calls to make (joy, joy! - sarcasm for those who have read here long enough to know how I loath talking on the telephone) and need to try to figure out how to get Skype onto my computer then learn to use it so I can have a way to still read lips when I try to make a business call soon. First, to take time and still myself before the Lord, or nothing else will come to pass today!
Day 58 of 100
The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me; seaweed was wrapped around my head. To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But you, Lord my God, brought my life up from the pit. Jonah 2:5-6