No, I'm not retiring from blogging! I'm just ready to retire some items. My "Failure is NOT an Option" hat that has served well as my pool hat for a year or more now, was already a broken-in hand-me-down when I started using it. It captures my determination well, as Kathy recently put it, "With God and Jenni, nothing is impossible!" But that hat is literally falling apart and the Velcro back keeps catching on, tangling with and badly pulling my long (Yeah! Growing!) hair.
Saturday, my mom and I found a couple of new pool hat options for me at over 70% off! I have an all-white one with cute flower and blue with white poke-a-dots now. :) I had thought about designing my own to say something like, "SURVIVOR" on one line and "6 strokes, age 39" on the next, then maybe "StrokeOfGrace.blogspot.com" under that, but both VistaPrint and CafePress only give me Velcro closure options and would be around $20. Since I paid less than $4 for each of what I just bought and the back styles don't pull my hair, I dropped that idea for now.
|Not looking at the camera because my vision is still quite doubled to turn my head to the side and move my eyes to look straight in front of me! Still dizzy from that attempt, but at least you can see my new pool hat. :)|
For me, a crisis issue was Tupperware. Yes, plastic storage dishes! It wasn't until toward the end of my rehabilitation stay that I began to grasp that many friends and family members had been working hard on my behalf, for weeks, to be sure that I came home to a safe, clear, orderly, adapted home environment. I remember blurting out to my husband, "Just don't let anyone touch my Tupperware cabinet!" little knowing that it had already been completely overhauled weeks prior. (I still wonder why this was the one issue that really stood out to me, but for whatever reason, it was.)
We rolled in the door upon discharge and my husband proudly wheeled me around the house opening drawers, cabinets, closets and showing off many of the changes that had been worked in our home over past weeks. I was livid, left utterly violated and betrayed. All the love and effort poured out on my behalf was seen as more uninvited change heaped upon my already-shattered heart, threatening to suffocate me with my own lack of sameness. The home I had longed for, dreamed of, craved, no longer felt as mine, safe, welcoming. I know now that everything accomplished was intended as blessing, but at the time when I was so frail and frightened, the changes seemed overwhelmingly daunting!
|Work in progress...|
|I thought the lighting on a kitchen chair was amazing one morning this week.|
As you may be able to guess by now, from all the photos I'm snapping, I got a new cell phone, a special slide out keypad model that I'm learning to text with a bit and is actually a little easier for me to hear and see on than our home phone. It is great for staying in contact with my many doctors and immediate family, though I am still not a happy phone "chatter" anymore. What excites me the most is that I now have a camera I can use without having to drag my laptop around for the webcam (and it takes mirror image photos anyway, so written words, the direction I hold anything, etc. comes out backwards) and I am so proud of myself for learning how to upload the pictures from my camera onto my computer, something I never could figure out with my old phone! Here are my first couple of pictures:
And a "selfie."
The weed-overgrown garden Kathy and I worked towards reclaiming (a few hours and 4 large trash can worth) on Wednesday.
My first roses I have managed to salvage into a bouquet in three years! This made me SO happy!!!!
Typical state of my "nest."
I spent 13 hours cleaning it up and reorganizing my chair corner this weekend. Now it looks like:
I love bears and roses, so a friend had a flower pot specially designed just for me, several years back. Fun to practice shooting photos on!
And more pictures, just for the fun of playing with my new toy:
And some pretties from our girl:
Praise! I had another hearing test yesterday. My left ear is up from virtual deafness to nearly 75% potential in the lower sound ranges! It does still drop off significantly with higher tones, but I can actually hear about 3 out of every 4 words spoken in a male tone with that ear now!
Our marriage has been one constant STRESS for 3 years straight (though really, for nearly 20 years of chronic illness before that too, just not at this level of intensity). My counselor's goal is that we are to strive to reclaim that marriage can be fun and joyful, not just a thing to be endured. This morning was great. Praying for not only continued endurance, but more and more fruit from the endurance thus far! Yesterday was our 265th month-o-versary. Satan may come to steel, kill and destroy, but Jesus, the Overcomer, is STILL winning this battle!
May the Lord lead you into a greater understanding of God's love and the endurance that is given by Christ. - 2 Thessalonians 3:5 GNT