I had a HUGE crying, temper tantrum, melt-down, hissy-fit night around midnight Friday morning. Poor Rick - the hidden "joys" of living with a spouse with brain damage! No one would believe what he lives with as this typically only happens behind closed doors, but it DOES happen and is UGLY! I had to totally step away from the computer (anything but the Lord and family, really) for 36 hours to try to "reset".
|When I'm worked up and sorrow suddenly gives way to panic, fear and anger, I give "careful thought" to nothing but pain.|
I'm very thankful this is no longer a daily or even weekly reality like it was in the beginning, but it is still utterly painful and draining to us both and took us more off guard than it used to simply because it is no longer our constant state of daily being. My responses to my whole family are sharper and harsher than they were pre-stoke, so your prayers for God to soften those rough edges and reflexive reactions would be a huge blessing to all of us, along with wisdom in how to recover from and defuse future nuclear meltdowns!
I've given my family a pretty rough ride this week but am seeking God's grace and their forgiveness to get my heart back on track. It is at these moments when I think about how my chiropractor had no idea what his manipulation would do and have to take all the heartache and shattered dreams to the Lord, ONCE AGAIN!
I almost forgot to share that my skin biopsy from last week came back clear. Benign. Praise the Lord!