I used to hand write in my journals by the hour, pre-stroke. Now, the simple task of addressing an envelope to mail is daunting. With mailing anything, it is the entirety of the task that used to take 2 minutes, and now takes an hour that overwhelmed me... gathering supplies like envelope and whatever needs to be mailed, looking up address, actually addressing and writing anything that needs to be written, stamping, getting it ready for mail box or post office - and to list anything on eBay now with those steps and packaging and insuring too, no thanks now, even though this was a big pre-stroke hobby! If I am going to send something to anyone, I often just order online and have it shipped directly there so I never handle it.
Yesterday, I picked up a random pen from our collection, to jot a brief note of a Scripture reference for my book. I was thrilled to discover that I actually ENJOYED writing for the first time in nearly 4 years. I didn't write more than a single line, but the ink flowed smoothly onto the paper, the pen felt good in my grip! Of course, it was our only pen of that style I found in the house and it is very low on ink, so last night Rick had me order another 12-pack of these babies - PaperMate gel 0.7, medium tip, blue ink!
I eventually would love to try the Paper Mate Medium Point Retractable Gel Pens, 8 Colored Ink Pens (1746323) pack, as this would give me the same smooth gel-ink writing experience in colors like pink and purple too, but to start with, I'm just thrilled to find a pen that actually makes me happy to write!
I titled this post "Simple Joys" (plural), so please allow me to share another joyful story from this week.
After two cycles from the dryer, a load of laundry was still cool and damp. In frustration, I told the Lord that I was sick and tired of the way the devil has been continually messing with our family over the past four years. I asked if He would please repair whatever was wrong with the dryer and not give Rick one more thing to deal with. I cleaned the lint trap again, re-started the dryer, and set the timer for 20 minutes, figuring that was useless, but I would give it just one more try.
The timer went off on this short, third attempt and I went in, expecting more of the same, but instead was thrilled to find everything warm and dry!
I thanked God, and told Him I knew there was no logical human explanation but told him it still felt rather surreal, and that I could rather understand Gideon now, that I suppose this COULD potentially be explained by human logic that the load just needed extra time to dry.
I had no more than said this than I reached back into the dryer again and pulled out the next towel, cold and damp! "Great, so the load didn't get all dry after all." But as I continued to feel around, the entire rest of the load really was quite warm and dry! "OK, Father, you have my attention now!"
And the next load dried in just one cycle!
God is in CONTROL!!! Whatever your circumstances, He see, He knows, He cares!
I was recently asked the above question about communication my needs to others. I replied, "In person, I typically do not explain myself very well, I don't think. Through online (blog, FB wall, etc.) I think I articulate well, sometimes maybe even "over-share". The result is often that total strangers know more about the specifics of living with my health issues than those in my "real world" life! Sometimes I email specific links to my husband or mom or other friends if I want them to have a better understanding of a specific situation.
I have a doctor's appointment next week that has me rather nervous. God knows the details. There is 99% chance that this newest issue is nothing of great concern. After doing so many things in the "medically exceptional" department, I am striving not to park my heart in fear. If nothing comes of next week's appointment, it is likely such a non-issue that I will ever need mention it again. For today, this week, I simply ask for prayers for peace. Likely I am totally "catastrphising" again, jumping to consider worst cause scenario that isn't even realistic concern. I know this in my head. I guess this is a part of the whole near-death, horrific PTSD journey because my heart is not willing to stay where my mind says my soul should be living today.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. - 2 Timothy 1:7
When my anxious inner thoughts become overwhelming, your comfort encourages me. - Psalm 94:19 (Holman)