Along comes desperately needed antidepressant medication at about seven months, followed by the dosage adjustment season (months) of finding what level worked well for me. Emotional counseling started about this same time. Once we got me stabilized, the antidepressant drugs offered our family a whole new level of sanity!
My PBA took an abrupt turn from crying over everything to the complete inability to process emotion via tears! The emotional release valve of appropriate crying is fully locked up. I can no longer cry AT ALL. Not when I should. Not when I want to. Not when I should.
It is a matter of prayer that God would restore my appropriate tears. I don't want to fly off the handle, loose control, get angry when the issue is minor, cry without cause. (How I feel for my 13-year-old who burst into tears without cause, then cries all the harder because she doesn't even know why she's crying in the first place! Hormones!) In patching the broken part of my brain that was leading to hours of daily hysterics, we shut off the tap. Of the two, I (and my family!) significantly prefer this version of me over the one without emotion guards at all, but neither are fun! I don't like feeling like a Vulcan, a robot, a being devoid of emotional expression. (The emotions are still there, they just can't get out!)
With this in mind, imagine my joy, when dress shopping with my daughter last weekend, she came out of the fitting room wearing a dress much to mature for her age, and my first response was to have tears spring to my eyes! No, I didn't actually cry, but I sure gave my eyes a good bath! They stung and were misty. I actually had a "normal" reaction to seeing my baby looking suddenly so very grown up. It felt good to neither be over- nor under-reacting this once! Praise God!!!
Concussion Update: By three weeks post-concussion (this past Sunday), my seriously elevated Central Pain Syndrome levels seemed to be calming back down toward my pre-concussion baseline - pain still always there, but reasonably tolerable much of the time. My left leg has been too painful to tolerate many attempted therapies over the past couple of weeks, but now it is simmered down to its typically achy throb that can be forced into semi-corporation. I even amazed myself at therapy this week, by how well I could get my leg to follow instruction! That it wasn't at the uncommon level of pain it had been over the prior three weeks AND obeyed my brain on some specific tasks, was added astoundment. My left ear still feels internally burny/itchy/swollen and more irritated than normal. My eyes are still slightly more prone to crossing and double vision than before the head hit, but the eyes generally seem to be working toward improvement. My short term memory seems "quicker" and more focused than it was 2 weeks ago. By God's grace this injury isn't seeming to grab hold of significantly more limited brain function for the long haul!