Update: Stroke of Grace has become In Darkness Sing and has moved to JenniferSaake.com.

Thirty-nine-year-old Jennifer Saake (founder, Hannah's Prayer Ministries), experienced 6 strokes via vertebral dissection at a chiropractic office, including brain stem and cerebellum bleeds, in Oct. 2011. Jenni remained hospitalized for nearly 2 months and was not expected to live (near death experience) nor recover, but if she even survived, she was slated to live out her days in a nursing home or, best case, to maybe come home but wheelchair-bound and needing 24-hour care. At 5 years, 7 months God showed how He was writing her story from the beginning.

Jenni is currently writing more books and stays active on both Facebook and Pinterest. Stroke of Grace became In Darkness Sing in early 2018 and has moved, along with all five of Jennifer's active blogs, to one location at JenniferSaake.com.

Since Jenni's chiropractor carried no insurance and moved out of the country soon after the accident (thus avoiding any legal or financial consequences), if you would like to help contribute to the Saake (pronounced like the two small words, say and key) family's massive financial needs (medical expenses alone are estimated to cost between $1- and $1.5- Million in Jenni's lifetime), please visit Jennifer Saake's Stroke Survivor GoFundMe Page. (This support information has been added in direct response to several reader requests.) The Saakes sincerely thank you for your prayers and if God prompts and equips you to send any monetary assistance as well, this is a significant added blessing.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

I missed a dose and didn't melt down!

The strokes destroyed the emotional centers of my brain. The wires of emotional processing and coping skills were simply erased.

I now have PBA (wild emotional swing and emotional reactions that are often contrary to my actual feeling, like outright laughing at things that embarrass me, make me sad, or cause physical or emotional pain).
Thank you Neudexta for PBA emotion pictures.

I also have depression.

The way antidepressant medications work for a lot of people is they should take daily, but if they miss a dose or two, they can get back on track fairly easily. For me, if I miss my morning "magic pill," my whole family knows it by early afternoon. I'm irritable and cranky and get overwhelmed by the simplest moments of everyday living.

Yesterday, I missed my pill. I did not break down. No one even knew.

I really felt the need for it by this morning, so the brain's not all re-wired there yet, but I coped through an entire day without chemical aid and no one suffered for it.

I started at 20mg of my meds, needed to go up as high as 40mg before I achieved stability, then dropped back down to 20mg a couple years back. I've since gone to 10mg, then 5mg, and now alternate two days at just 2,5 (one quarter of the smallest pill available), then a booster day at 5, then back down to 2.5 for two more days, before another booster dose. Yesterday's was to have been that 5mg booster day.

After I finish this two week set up in my pill box, I think I'll try just doing 2.5 daily and see if I can sustain this dose for the long haul without my family suffering as a result of that decision.

I may always need a little chemical help to cope with what's been destroyed in my brain, and I'm OK with that. It's just tremendously encouraging to have missed one day and no suffered emotional fall out as a result!

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