You would think that at nearly 5 1/2 years, I would have seen enough 25th roll by that they wouldn't trip me up any more, at least not the ones in big landmark months like my actual October stroke-a-versary on even the April half way point of each cycle. But March???
I go some months without really even noticing another landmark date, then out of the blue a random month will leave me reeling when the number 25 pops up on my calandar. Ugg.
|Actually God created days, the measurement of "evening and morning" but I agree with the gist of this in the man-made segmenting of timekeeping.|
I've realized lately that the likelihood that I will ever be able to apply for a driver's licence again is a dream I just need to let go. I still can't even get through a shopping trip without crashing my cart a time or twelve. I can leave the house doing great, and an hour or three later, within about 30 seconds, loose all peripheral awareness. Yeah, I guess driving won't be happening.
Two other ares I've "admitted defeat" (or at least acknowledged reality) this month are that I have applied (and been accepted on the authority of a strongly worded doctor's letter) for home delivery of my daily mail, and I've reapplied for ongoing public transit services and checkmarked the box "permanent" (rather than "temporary") on the disability application. Now I no longer need to push my walker down to the end of a very long block (what I was doing when I fell and got my concussion), cross a busy street, a try to maneuver over rocks to get to our community mail box.
My ears seem to be getting worse by the month. I still have some hearing, for which I am very thankful, but I guess I "yell" a lot. I pretty much can't watch t.v. with my family because to have volume up enough that I can follow a story, I drive everyone else from the house (not just the room, as ever being at the other end of the house its still too loud for them!).
My jaw seems quite tied to that left ear and the nerves like to fire off randomly and painfully. Thankfully, it seems to have been a little quieter recently. However, my left teeth has regained enough feeling to hurt fairly constantly now. My gums and tongue are still relatively numbish over there, but when I bite myself, they seem hypersensitive to pain and I sure know it.
Speaking of nerve pain, my left leg has been acting up pretty drastically this past few weeks. *sigh* Also, my left hand, especially the thumb that went several months without being terribly painful, is creeping back up in pain levels again. My left shoulder has been subluxing (painfully partially dislocating) at least 1-3 times a night over the last few weeks, after being strong and stable for months, (That still nothing like the 20-30 times a day it would slip out of join that first year or two!)
My eyes, the fact that I'm alive, my ability to walk at all, my arm, my hand, my shoulder, are all so very much improved. None are really near where they were before the strokes, but all far better than they "should" have ever gotten.
My book proposal has been set off to publishers. My editor tells me I have a real book in the making finally. This from a woman with six areas of brain injury. " " (1 Corinthians 1:27-31).
I'm getting ready to head off to Mount Hermon in a week and a half. I was able to raise all of my needed $1,300 but $130 registration plus gas, goFundMe fees, and incidentals. My hubby let me put this much on the credit card, to be paid back as soon as I can.) I'm in awe! Our Palm Sunday service up there is a yearly tradition I'm really looking forward to! Thank you to each and every friend who has helped in any way, prayers and pennies alike!
Kathy and I got out in my rose garden for the first time this spring. I hoed quite a bit on my own and kept my balance doing so! Moving some cantaloupe-sized rock and pulling weeds, my stomach protested at being bent over and Kathy made me stop after my near third vomiting episode in 10 minutes. Still, we managed 3 hours out there in my roses on Wednesday. Every year my garden is looking better and I can do more in it. :)
My computer, by God's grace, is still plugging along. There are days when it stops and won't restart for hours, but so far God's kept reviving it! Haven't had to implement those funeral plans quite yet. :)
I'm sorry this post has been a bit of a downer. I need to document where I am both physically and emotionally so I have records to look back on later.
Happy first week of Spring, my friends, Please leave a comment and tell me how you are preparing your heart for Easter, the celebration of our Lord's resurrection, this year.