Update: The In Darkness Sing blog at JenniferSaake is experiencing prolonged technical issues, so I'm temporarily posting back here on my old Stroke of Grace blog. (You will notice many typos in older posts. I intentionally never corrected them, as they helped document my cognitive abilities at various stages of recovery.)

Thirty-nine-year-old Jennifer Saake (founder, Hannah's Prayer Ministries), experienced 6 strokes via vertebral dissection at a chiropractic office, including brain stem and cerebellum bleeds, in Oct. 2011. Jennifer remained hospitalized for nearly 2 months and was not expected to live (near death experience) nor recover, but if she even survived, she was slated to live out her days in a nursing home or, best case, to maybe come home wheelchair-bound and needing 24-hour care. At 5 years, 7 months, God clarified Jennifer's theology on healing and showed how He was writing her story from the beginning.

Jennifer is currently writing more books and stays active on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Stroke of Grace became In Darkness Sing in early 2018 and has moved, along with all five of Jennifer's active blogs, to one location at JenniferSaake.com. (Please see temporary update note above!)

God Came Near (Jennifer Saake - Near Death Experience)

This blog has MOVED to JenniferSaake.com/.
Picture from Facebook
This blog has MOVED to JenniferSaake.com/.
Since I have posted a variety of versions of this post on my pages, I wanted to combine them and post all the pertinent information on one page as easy reference for you. This is the very most important part of my story. If you read no other post I write, please take time to read (and share) this one!

Today I am thinking of the glory of sunrise, pale in comparison with the mental picture I'm about to describe, but the closest to what a camera can actually capture. My daughter asked me the other day about my favorite time of day, and I would have to say early morning now.

I tried to share this story with a select few, early on, and I received a couple of less-than-positive receptions for my thoughts, so I felt it better to keep my experience to myself after that. I held this knowledge close to my heart, as a personal and valued treasure, and feared other's reactions if I shared it. When I finally felt God saying it was the time to speak again about a year after the events transpired, I initially shared my story with a measure of trepidation, for I knew once my thoughts were "out there," there would be no way to take them back, reel them in and make them mine alone again. Now I don't much care what people think about me here, as long as they are hearing about what God has done! It was truly not my timing (I was going to wait until the publication of my of my stroke book), but God strongly impressing upon my heart His better plan that I had to testify to His working sooner! Since it is really much more about Him than me, I can't stay silent any longer. Today, I share with you, not in sensationalism, but in humility:

From Facebook

When I had my first two, most serious strokes, I could not move, speak, hear, open my eyes, or in any way communicate with the world around me. Here's what was going on around me, what predicated the following. But as for what I actually remember, I knew I was in bad shape, had heard the beginning of the 911 call being placed before I lapsed into unconsciousness, and we have pieced together that the following experience must have taken place just after I was loaded into the ambulance, when EMTs were trying to get any response from me but I could not hear them and was unable to respond at all. (It is possible that it happened anywhere in the next 6 hours I remained unresponsive, or even in the following week when I was technically "conscious" but have little to no memory, but to my mind, I place what seemed to be only a sliver of time, a moment, in the ambulance before the ride to the hospital, possibly because I have no memory of the other events. I guess it is rather impossible to place a timeless event within the context of our known limits of time and space!) My body was significantly posturing, I was not expected to make it to the hospital alive, and my situation was terribly fragile and precarious.

I, very vividly, consciously and lucidly, remember "waking up" and thinking through my senses one by one, looking for any response from my body or clue to what was happening to me. I could not feel, move, speak, see or hear anything. In fact, I had no sensation of being connected to my body in any way. I was rational enough to presume I was in an ambulance, for though I could not see, and had no knowledge of the EMTs arrival (other than previously hearing that they were being called), my very first awareness was sensing (not "seeing") the shifting of light when, I presume, the ambulance door shut. I had no other connection with my body but I knew enough of what had just happened (even though I lacked explanation of what had happened and the word "stroke" wasn't even remotely on my radar at the time) to know I was physically in dire straights and that I was likely on some form of life support.  

Picture from Facebook

One of the first coherent thoughts, that I would have shouted out as a statement if I could was, "Don't pull the plug! I'm still here." Before even one wave of panic could overtake me, I was filled with such profound peace! I heard music (remember, I was totally deaf, and remained so to anything happening around me) unlike anything I had ever heard before - so beautiful! And while every other memory from the next several weeks remains vague and shadowy, most have slipped away all together, this one is crystal clear and bathed in golden light.

Picture from Facebook
I have always before wondered about and somewhat feared death, but after this near-death experience, I felt cheated and angry that I had survived and was suicidal for about 6 months (I just wanted to hurry up and get to Heaven, now that I had a foretaste) until my husband challenged me that if God wasn't finished with His plan for my life here on earth yet, neither should I be. I still feel great excitement and eagerness for Eternity, but I am much more willing to bide my time here on earth now.
Picture from Facebook
After being challenged to find and fulfill God's purpose for my days on earth, it became evident to me that as wonderful as Heaven is (and I already got a sneak peak, that was so wonderful that I am ever-so anxious to find out more!) that Hell must be just as awesome in terror. I promised God that I would spend the days assigned to me to help anyone who would listen to avoid such fate, for I cannot even imagine the horror.

So with that background in mind (I know how like a lunatic my experience must sound), you can see why I'm passionate about my views.

From Facebook

I believe that there is only one God, Jesus Christ. That to believe Him, I must abide by what He says, namely that He alone is God and there is no other, that He is the only way to the Father and that many paths are inviting, but only one leads to eternal life.

I believe that we are all born as sinners, separated from God, and the only remedy to clear us of our guilt, is acceptance of the death and resurrection of Jesus, the only sinless man ever to live.

It is not through doing enough (or any) right or good things, but by simple
faith that God is who He says He is and did what He said He did. It isn't just about believing the facts, but taking them to heart. If I tell you a chair can hold my weight, I can tell you that all day, but it really means nothing until I exercise that belief by taking my body and actually sitting in that chair to show us both that I believe what I say, that I am willing to act upon what I say is true. It is like that with God too. I can say He exists and maybe even say I'm willing to see the work of His hand in my life, but until the "good works" I do are because of my love for Him, an expression of my adoration and acknowledgement of all He has already given for me, not in effort to earn forgiveness or grace, they mean nothing. As Scripture says, such works are as useless as filthy rags!

From Facebook
OK, getting off my pulpit now. ;) Don't worry, I'm not likely to try and cram these beliefs down anyone's throat, but it is clear exactly where I stand now. I wish you all peace (the intense kind, like I found in that ambulance) as you explore these issues for yourselves. Feel free to leave a comment or email me - StrokieGal AT gmail DOT com - if you want to talk more specifics. I, for sure, am not an expert and don't pretend to have all the answers, but I'm happy to share what I am convinced about and explore questions to keep on learning! 

If you are wanting more thoughts about why death is not so scary, I encourage you to visit this young mother's story, recorded just weeks before she lost her second battle with cancer! DeathIsNotDying

Here are a few videos I posted, mostly songs related to my thoughts surrounding this post. Here are my growing collection of images that semi-capture a tiny bit of the emotions surrounding my memories. Here are more of my my further Thoughts and Impressions About Heaven.

Why I really struggled with suicidal longing for a full year or more, after this experience and what God has taught me about purpose through all this. [Edited to add: It took over three years before I could actually begin to learn to embrace life here on earth again.]

Picture from Facebook
Copyright, Jennifer Saake 2012-2013
Please come join me in my new home. This blog has MOVED to JenniferSaake.com/.

You may appreciate a related article on Why I Never Give Up.

Please join Stroke of Grace on Facebook!


  1. I stand with you dear daughter. I am so intensely grateful to God for leaving you with us.

  2. Jenni - I have followed your journey, prayed for you ( and still do ) and I am grateful you have put these pieces of it all together in one place.

    You inspire many and God will continue to use you and your story to bring Him glory.

    Love you -

  3. You are amazing, Jenni, and have such a miraculous story. I see God's hand on you.

  4. Jenni, thank you for sharing your story. I have a friend who also had a near death experience. She explained the music as the most beautiful sound, like none she has never heard before.
    I see part of your purpose is to share your story. You are a great writer. May God use your story to encourage and also warn those who do not know Christ!
    Blessings to you!!